Disturbance
by Missreadingfool
Summary: A man who lost everything when he couldn't give the woman he loved more. Love turns to anger and madness.


Disturbance

The monotone voice of the Jury Foreman was lost on Christian Grey as he stood before God, the public, and the Supreme Court of the Great State of Washington. If he heard correctly, he had just been found guilty of First Degree Murder of Kara Grey, his wife of two years. His wife! He could not wrap his mind around that fact. How in the hell did she get him to the Alter? She was nothing but a Submissive. He didn't love her. He never loved anyone … except her. The one woman who denied him. The one woman who had said no and walked away not caring how handsome he was or how rich he was.

Ana. Anastasia Steele. He couldn't help but smile when he thought of her. She was so damn beautiful with her chocolate brown tresses of waist length hair, that soft ivory skin, those delicious berry red lips, and her eyes. She had the most breathtaking blue eyes he had ever seen. Blue like the sky mixed with a touch of Concord Grape Wine. He wanted her from the moment she fell into his office that May day for that college newspaper interview. He pursued her, not able to stay away from this siren. He stalked her to her job, to the campus, to her apartment, and to the bar where she celebrated the end of her college career with friends.

Christian remained standing as the Judge kept pounding his gavel to bring some order to the court room. All Christian could see was the lovely face of Ana. He was no longer in that courtroom. He was back at Escala, in his bedroom and cuddled up next to Ana. She was the only woman to ever sleep in his bed with him. Not even his wife slept with him. She slept in the Sub room. Kara knew her place, or at least she did until she pissed him off one to many times! The sound of crying brought Christian back to the courtroom. He turned around to see his mother, Grace breaking down and holding on to his Father for support. Once again, Christian had disappointed his family and brought shame to the Grey name.

"I'm sorry, Mom." He whispered to anyone who was paying attention to him. "I didn't mean to hurt her … she meant the world to me … I… oh, God, what have I've done?" He collapsed into his chair between his team of lawyers. He heard them talking as if they were in a can. He heard the words appeal, a motion to dismiss on the grounds of witness tampering and other strategies to win his freedom. He threw his head back and yelled, "AAAANNNNAAAAA!" The courtroom was thrown into chaos as reporters and photographers scrambled to get their scoops and photographs. Officers of the court surrounded Christian Grey in case he went "postal" and decided to hurt someone or himself. The Judge was still pounding his gavel demanding for order in the court.

"I will have quiet in this courtroom! Bailiff…clear this courtroom!" The Judge came to his feet. "Counselors, get control of your client now or he will be facing a charge of contempt."

"Yes, sir." The tall and blonde lawyer leaned over his client. "Christian, stop this shit! You are going to lose everything."

"You dumb fuck, I have lost everything. She is gone!" He felt his throat constrict. He couldn't find his breadth. "She's dead. Ana and the baby are dead. I will never see my son. Never see her again."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" His lawyer asked shaking his head. "Who is Ana?"

Christian stared at his lawyer as if the man had lost his mind. Where has this fool been living for the last few years? Under a damn rock? "Ana was my wife. She left me when she found out I cheated on her and she took my son. There was an accident…and they were killed."

"Holy Shit." The lawyer said. He stepped away from his client. "Fuck me, you are nuttier than a squirrel's nut-sack!"

Grace Grey had aged during the three month trial of her youngest son. Her once light golden brown hair was now a snowy white and lines of worry stretched across her face. She retired from her practice, not able to work with her heart broken. She became a social recluse, resigning from all her charity organizations. She could not face the stares and the whispers. Carrick had decided to retire within the year before this incident, but it was decided it would be best for him to take early retirement. He also had aged. He didn't stand as tall and he seemed to be slower. They thought about selling their lovely home in Bellevue and downsizing, but Elliot and Mia begged them not to sell the family home. It was then that they remembered they had other children that needed them even though those children were adults and were married themselves. It was time for the Grey Family to be a family again.

It was at the reinstated Grey Family Sunday Dinners that Grace and Carrick learned more about the obsessions that plagued their youngest son. Kate and Elliot announced that they were once again expecting, this would be their third child. Ava was five, and Darrick was three. Everyone was smiling and congratulating them when the phone rang. Carrick answered it while Grace kissed and hugged Elliot and Kate.

"Yes, I'll tell the family." He sighed heavily and hung up the phone. He turned to see the joy on his wife's face. This news would wait. This was the first time he had seen his wife truly smile in months.

"Dad, what is it?" Elliot asked lowly as they stood before the grill. The ladies were in the kitchen preparing the side dishes while the men, as Kate like to say "made fire". "Ever since that phone call you have been quiet. Is it Christian?"

Carrick nodded. "He tried to commit suicide again."

"God damn it, why don't they just let him! He's already been condemned! Why in the hell put us all thru this shit of appeals when he doesn't even want it!"

"It's called due process, son. It's the law of checks and balances."

"He admitted that he killed Kara." Elliot was tired of this shit. His business had taken a hit, but nothing he couldn't handle. He was more worried about his family, especially his sainted mother. Grace's heartbreak was very evident upon her face and in her eyes.

"No, Christian admitted to killing his wife and unborn child."

"You mean Ana."

Carrick carefully turned the steaks. "He thinks he was married to Ana and was having an affair with Kara."

"Dad, he's been condemned to the needle but he is also considered mentally ill. How can the state put him to death?"

"He wasn't mentally ill when he killed Kara or so the court says. He knew what he was doing."

"So this is just Christian faking? Messing with us."

"No, it's Christian grasping at anything that will end his life." Carrick's throat thickened as he fought the urge to scream. He did not understand why his brilliant son who had everything, wealth, good health, good looks, and social status was hell bent on destroying everything he built. Maybe Christian did have some kind of mental illness that was never identified. Of course, he was always under some kind of mental therapy since he was adopted to try to overcome the horrific first four years of his life, and if thirty years of therapy didn't find all his problems, maybe…he couldn't bring himself to think it. He couldn't give up on his son…not yet. There had to be some hope, somewhere, somehow!

"Elliot, why is Christian so obsessed with Anastasia Steele? I know they dated for what, two weeks?"

"He says he fell in love for the first time in his life with Ana. He never wanted more with anyone until her and she tried to be what he wanted…you know…but in the end, there isn't a submissive bone in her. She basically told him no and walked away after he…well, Dad let's just say that Ana gave him a chance to show her how bad it could be and he… he beat her with a belt." Carrick winced thinking about his muscled son wielding a belt and striking the petite brunette beauty. "She left him that morning, it was right after she came back from Georgia and before she started work at SIP. He hounded her for weeks, stalked her at work, sat outside her apartment until Kate and Ana threatened to call the cops. He couldn't take no for an answer. He could not believe that she would not take him back. He begged, he pleaded, and he even threatened, but Ana is a stubborn woman and she has self-respect. She got a restraining order against him."

"Then, the Hyde Incident." Carrick shook his head. That should have brought up some warning flags. Jack Hyde had tried to molest Ana at work and she basically whipped his ass. He had no idea that Ana was a third-degree black belt in karate. She had him squealing like a stuck pig on the floor, grabbing his nuts when security found them. The police were called in as well as an ambulance since Ana had torn one of Hyde's testicles off with her bare hands. Christian was also arrested for violating the restraining order when he came busting in demanding to know what was happening as if he owned the place. Christian was released quickly because of his reputation and wealth and of course, he made a hefty donation to the Police Retirement Fund. No charges were filed.

"Ana asked for a transfer to the New York offices of Sawyer Publishing who had recently acquired SIP in a friendly buyout. She decided that Seattle was not big enough for her and Christian." Elliot sighed heavily remembering those dark days when Christian learned that Ana no longer lived and worked in Seattle. Taylor had called him to come to Escala to help with the mad man since him nor could Gail talk any sense into him. Elliot walked into the posh penthouse to find it in shambles. Christian had taken a butcher knife to the furniture and to the expensive art work that hung on the walls. Broken bottles of wine covered the floors. Elliot found Christian in a room upstairs that was called the Red Room. It was bare except for seven large portraits of Ana. He was sitting in the middle of the room with the knife staring at her image and crying. "I thought he was going to slit his own throat that day." Elliot reached for another beer from the cooler. "He sat there rocking back and forth calling out her name." A tear slipped from Elliot's eye. It still hurt that he could not help his brother. "Hell, Dad, I didn't know what to do. I've never seen him like that. He's always had such self-control … but I guess that was all show. He never had control. Something else controlled him. I think it was fear. Fear of anything and everything that could hurt him."

"And, Ana came along with her sweetness and gentleness and his heart didn't give a crap what his head was saying." Carrick whispered. "He loved her and didn't know how to express that love."

"His need for her drove her away which only made him want her more. When he followed her to New York and saw her out with Luke Sawyer, he lost it."

Carrick only nodded. It was another situation where Christian's money bought silence. He was able to cover up his bad behavior and got out of Dodge without any scandal to his name. However, he came home to Seattle an angry man, angrier than anyone had ever seen him. He became cruel to everyone that crossed his path. It was only a matter of time before his temper and issues would finally lead him into a situation that his money could not save him from.

"I think when he found out that Ana was engaged and was going to marry Luke Sawyer that is when he finally lost it. I mean why else would he run off and marry Kara. She was nothing to him but an Ana "wanna-be". Elliot drained his beer. "He never loved her. She was nothing but a fuck to him." He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "And, when Ana announced her pregnancy that is when Kara said the BDSM sessions got more extreme and barbaric. I tried talking to him about it, but … well you know how that ended up. I got a black eye and he got a broken nose."

"I should have done more. I begged Kara not to stay there. I knew he was going to hurt her." Carrick looked to the sky. That guilt was always going to be there. He should have packed her up and carried her out of Escala that very day! Who knew that in five months that his daughter-in-law would be dead!

"Dad, I think the steaks are done. We better get in with the rest of the family."

"Elliot, don't say anything about that phone call. Let your mother and sister have this day. They are so happy and I haven't seen that in quite a while."

"I know, Dad, I know. I won't say a thing." Elliot put his arm about his Dad's shoulders and gave a little hug. "So, ole man, you want a grandson or another granddaughter?"

"You know, I don't care, just as long as the baby is healthy." Carrick answered with a smile. "Just give me a healthy grandbaby!"

Grace sat at one end of the table smiling at her family gathered about her. Elliot and Kate with their two children, Eva and Darrick sat on one side, and Ethan and Mia with their one child, Nadia who was just turning one on the other side. The chair was usually reserved for her other child was missing. She knew that Carrick had that chair removed and requested that there be no place setting put there. She appreciated his trying to spare her feelings, but she could not forget her son. Christian would always be with her.

"I want to thank you all for coming today. This means so much to me." She gave her husband a bright smile, thankful for his strength and love. "So, Ethan, how is everything?" As the young Doctor spoke of his residency at the same hospital that she used to work at, Grace's thoughts were with her youngest son and wishing that he was home with them.

Two years have passed since Christian Grey was found guilty of Murder. He sat on Death Row as lawyers fought for an appeal that he did not want. He had tried suicide many times, but he was watched very carefully. Every moment of every day and night was monitored. He sat alone in an 8x8 cell. He had a television that he watched very little of, a radio he did like to listen to, and many books and newspapers. He still like to read the business sections of papers and once in a while gave his guards stock tips. He wrote letters to his family since he requested that they not visit him. He enjoyed receiving their letters and the photographs of his nieces and nephews. Kate and Elliot had four children now, Ava, Darrick, Adam, and Darcy, who was only a few weeks old. Mia and Ethan had five children. Nadia, the twins, Grace and Garret and then they adopted two more children, Samuel who was nine and Leslie, age six, a brother and sister who had lost their parents in a car wreck. Ethan had gone to medical school with the children's father and was their Godfather. It was decided that Ethan and Mia would adopt them since there was no one else. Life had gone on for the Grey family, even without him.

Grace and Carrick also sent photos of their various travels. Since they both had retired they decided to see the world. They had circled the world at least once. Christian found himself laughing to see his mother in a grass skirt in Hawaii or his Father wearing a fur trimmed parka as he climbed in the Himalayas. He looked like a bear with his full beard. He put his photographs away and switched on the TV to catch the evening news.

He lay on his bunk with his hands behind his head as the news program returned from a commercial break.

"In business news this day in New York it is announced that CEO Anastasia Sawyer of Sawyer Publications is the proud new owner of Dancing Day Publishing. Ms. Sawyer is the wife of Luke Sawyer, the CEO of The Sawyer Interests Groups, a multi-national conglomerate that has recently bought up the remaining assets of the now defunct GEH of Seattle, Washington. The power couple of the year are parents of two children, a boy and a girl, with a third child due in a few months. Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Sawyer."

Christian couldn't breathe. His chest was full of pain. He slowly pulled himself up. "She couldn't…she didn't…she can't! She's dead! She's dead!" He began screaming and tearing the sheets off his bed. He tore his pillow in two scattering the contents onto the floor. He knocked everything off the small shelf he used as a desk and picked up the chair and threw it at the television breaking it and sending sparks into the air. Before the guards could get his cell unlocked he began slamming his head against the concrete wall. "She's dead! She's dead." A guard grabbed his arm to pull him up but Christian came up and punched the man in the face. "Don't touch me!"

"Grey, stand down." Another guard demanded. Christian plowed into the guard knocking the man backward and they both fell into the hall causing other guards to come to the man's assistance. The other death row inmates began screaming as Christian was swinging at anyone who got near him. Christian was about to swing once again when he was tazered and brought down.

"Stupid motherfucker…what set him off? He was doing so well." One guard said.

"Who knows? He's fucked up. He can never be let out into society, even if he gets a stay of execution."

He sat on Death Row another three years. Christian refused to even accept mail from his family. He didn't want to hear about their lives. He didn't want to be part of their happiness. He didn't deserve it. He refused to speak to his lawyers that his family provided for him. He didn't give a damn about anything. He didn't care if he lived or died. Nothing matter. He wished they would just administer the needle and let him go. They were only wasting money keeping him locked up.

"Grey, you have a visitor."

"Tell them to go away." He growled.

"C'mon, Grey, don't make us come in to get you. You know the drill." Slowly Christian arose from his bed and made his way to the door. He placed his hands through a rectangle box so his wrists could be handcuffed tightly before they opened his door. He was considered highly dangerous. "Now, step back five steps, turn, and drop to your knees."

Once he did this, the door was unlocked and three guards entered to escort him to the visitation room after the leg shackles were placed on him. They didn't talk to him anymore. There was no need. He had nothing to say to them anyway. Once he was in placed in a small room no larger than a broom closet and shackled to the chair. He could not move his arms or legs. He looked up to see his own reflection. He knew someone was beyond the so called mirror and they would be revealed in due time. This is how he had to talk to his lawyers now that he was considered a threat to everyone. He waited for the lights to turn on and the mirror to dissolve to reveal his mysterious visitor. He looked up and was speechless to see a dark haired beauty sitting before him.

"Ana? Is it really you?" He struggled against his chains wanting to get to her. He wanted to hold her, to feel her against his skin and kiss her soft lips. "You came to see me?"

"Elliot asked me…He said that…" She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to be here. She was uncomfortable being in a prison.

"I never stopped loving you. I've always loved you, Ana." He wanted her to know that his heart was always hers. "I never loved Kara. I'm so sorry, I hurt you…I should have never started with her. I was weak, Ana. I never…you…I couldn't…you left…I…I was lost, so lost. Then you died, taking our son and died. I couldn't handle it. I couldn't stand the pain. When I went to Escala…she was there. She was in our bedroom sitting on our bed. She knew she wasn't to be there. She had her own room."

His rambling frighten her and she found herself shifting away from the glass. He was nuttier than a fruitcake. She didn't understand why he kept saying she was dead when she was sitting in front of him talking. She turned to her left and shrugged her shoulders at Luke and Elliot. She didn't know how to respond to this madness. "Christian, your family would like very much to see you and be with you one last time before… before…" She couldn't say it.

"Before I am killed? Don't worry, Ana. I deserve it. I killed that fucking bitch and I'd do it again. How dare she dirty the bed you sleep on? She knew the rules." He smiled at her as if he was proud of what he did. "You are so beautiful."

"Christian, your family, they want to see you."

"Will you be with them?" He asked hopefully.

"Ummm … no, I have to return to New York. The children need me."

"You have kids?"

"Yes, I have four children. Lucas, Rayla, Frank and Gracie." She said softly.

"Are they mine?"

Ana didn't know how to answer that. If she told him the truth he might lose what little control he still possessed. She looked over to her husband for guidance and he only nodded. "Yes." She whispered. She couldn't look at him as she told him the lie, but she wanted him to have the chance to say goodbye to his family and for his family to say goodbye to him. They deserved that for all the heartache they had gone thru the last few years. She had seen the grief on Grace's face when she came to visit Elliot and Kate. As a mother she understood the pain that Grace felt.

Tears rolled down Christian's face as he considered her softly spoken word. He had children with Ana. "They can come and see me one last time, but I don't want them there for the actual…not for that."

"Thank you, Christian." Ana said gently. Her big blue eyes lifted and a tear slid down over her cheek. "I am so grateful." She pushed her chair back and started to get up.

"Ana, please, don't leave me yet. I know you can't stay, but it's been such a long time. I just want to look at you. To remember. To dream … just a little." His voice soften. "Did you love me, Anastasia?"

"Yes." She whispered.

"Do you still?"

_I love the man that I knew you could have been_. She nodded. "Yes, Christian. I do." If this gave him some peace, so be it. She held no malice towards him and wished that he could have found help for his issues. His life was over and she would be leaving this place and going home with her husband to their children. She hoped that his final hours would be peaceful and he could accept his family's love.

He closed his eyes and he was back in Escala with Ana in his arms. They were lying in their bed holding each other. "I love you, Christian." Her soft voice cooed to him. "I love you." He opened his eyes when the voice changed to a man's deep voice. He was stretched out on a gurney, strapped down with an IV stuck into his arm. The man made a cross over him and said a prayer asking for forgiveness. Christian lifted his head about an inch off the gurney to see a large curtain. He knew that beyond that curtain was a window, and beyond that window sat the witnesses to his death.

He was startled when he brought to an upright position and the curtain was drawn to reveal the witnesses. He didn't know these people. His own family did not attend as he requested.

"Christian Grey, you were found guilty of first degree murder of Kara Grey by a jury of your peers and the court condemned you to death for your crime. Do you have any final words you would wish to say?"

Christian smiled. "I gladly die today for my sins and crime. I welcome the peace. I just want someone, anyone to know that I have and I will always love Anastasia Rose Steele. She is all I ever wanted. Now…" His face became hard and those gray eyes turned ice cold. "You motherfuckers can kill me!"

Two minutes later, Christian Grey was pronounced dead by the coroner and the body was released to his family for burial.

Ana sat at the breakfast table with her family laughing at her oldest child's antics. Lucas was a clown, just like his father. She bit her lip as her eyes swept over Luke. He was as handsome as he was the day they met. "I love you, Luke."

"I know." He said taking her hand and kissing it. "Thank you for giving me that love and these beautiful little hellions."

She laughed. "They are your spawn, Mr. Sawyer."

"Let's not go into work today, my dear. Let's take the children and go to the zoo, or better yet, go down to South Carolina to the beach house for a week or two. Let's get out of the city and just relax."

"What are you trying to keep from me, Luke?" She saw the paper folded beside him and saw the date. "Oh." She whispered. "I understand." She nodded shortly. "I will get the children packed and ready."

"Ana, it's alright to be sad. He was a part of your life once upon a time." Luke leaned over and wiped a tear from her cheek. "He is the brother to our best friends and he was your first love. I'm not threaten or anything."

"Let's leave the past where it belongs, in the past. There is nothing more that can be said about him and me. We were over before we even really began." She leaned over and gently kissed him. "I'll get everything ready and call to have the house open. You take care of the travel arrangements." Ana stood. "Okay, kids…we are going to the beach house. Who wants to go with Mom and Dad?" It was unanimous, the children wanted to go to the beach.

The beach was quiet except for the sound of the waves lapping at the shore. Ana stared at the full moon and its reflection in the waters of the Atlantic. A single tear rolled over her cheek. She wept for a little boy that never accepted the love that his family gave with all their hearts.

"Tears?" Luke asked as he gathered her close and wrapped a blanket about them. "The children are asleep." He kissed the top of her head and took in the freshness of her natural scent. She smelled of ocean and fresh air. "Ana, are you going to be alright?"

She nodded her head. "They are tears for a little boy that never had a chance at life and his birth mother and the mom who took him in. Christian never believed that he could be loved or deserved love. All the attention he graved was mostly negative."

"He is at peace now as is Grace and the rest of the family." Luke felt his wife relax into him. He understood how much Ana was loved by the Grey family and how much she loved them. As he told her before, he was not threaten by those relationships. She wore his ring, took his name, and had their children. He was very blessed to have her love and devotion. "We can go visit them before school starts up in the autumn. Besides, I need some fishing time with Carrick, Ray, and Elliot."

Ana giggled. "We also will have to let them know that there is another Sawyer baby on the way."

**Six Months Later:**

Grace smiled at the newest photograph that was sent from New York. Ana and Luke were the parents of twins, a boy they named Michael Elliot Sawyer and a little girl that was named, Christina Lynn Sawyer. Mommy and babies were doing fine and had returned their home. All was good in the world. The sun rose in the morning and sat in the evening, the earth revolved the sun as the moon revolved around the earth. Life went on, renewed and revitalized and every day was a blessing to be alive.


End file.
